Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to Energetic Advantage, the podcast where energy isn't woo, it's your edge. I'm your host, Jessica Cerato. Intuitive strategist, lifelong pattern decoder, lover of numbers, and energetic guide for visionary leaders. Around. Here we go. Energy first, strategy second. Every episode will give you a perspective, a tool, or a timeline shift that helps you lead from your power.
Because the truth is your energy is your most undervalued asset. Until you learn how to use it, get ready. You're about to have the advantage. Let's begin.
Welcome back. So today we're gonna talk about a game that I guarantee you have played before, even if you didn't realize you were playing it. It's called this or that. And I gotta tell you, my youngest kid loves this game. like the kind of questions that she asked me. Well, which do you [00:01:00] like better?
Ice cream or cake? Um, obviously ice cream. Snow or ocean? Are you kidding me? Like obviously beach at first. It's fun because some choices feel really easy. There's no real cost, there's no consequence. It's light. But then she started asking questions that I literally could not answer. Mommy, who do you love more?
Boomer or dozer? For context, that's my dog and my cat. And then you know, it's coming, mommy, who do you love more? Me or Justine? Her sister. And when she asked me that, I remember just freezing, because in that moment I realized something, some questions cannot be answered without collapsing something that was never meant to be collapsed.
The problem is not that I don't know the answer. The problem is that the question itself assumes [00:02:00] separation when there isn't any, and that's when it clicked for me. It was no longer just about the game, this or that. It was about my life and our lives. We get trained very early to believe that life works in binaries This or that one or the other. Sometimes it's harmless ice cream or cake, and sometimes it quietly begins to shape the way that we make the biggest decisions of our lives. What I wanna share with you is something I see all the time. This story of I can't have this and that. I can't have love and money.
I can't have success and peace. I can't grow my business and still be present with my family. And usually it sounds very reasonable, very mature, very responsible. But energetically, that story is almost never true. It's logical. But [00:03:00] in this month, February, 2026, we are asked to go beyond logic. And truly understand that it's not a logistics problem, it's not a timing problem, it's a trust problem, and more specifically, it's a trust yourself problem.
How do I know? Because it happened to me. So about 10 months ago, I could feel that I was right on the edge of a big expansion in my business. You know that moment where you just know something is about to open? And every once in a while, this little thought would sneak in, okay, but I don't want to grow my business at the expense of my family.
Listen for those who know me, and for those who don't, I'll share it here. My number one priority are my kids, my family. I would never sacrifice time with them for a business opportunity. And consciously, I meant that. But if I'm being really honest, which I am, there was probably a part [00:04:00] of me that didn't fully trust myself yet because it's really easy to say that when the stakes are hypothetical, it is much harder when something real shows up, when that real big opportunity literally knocks on your door.
So energetically, I think there was probably still a question mark in my field. And when there's a question mark, the universe pauses. Here's what happened. I was working with a client in the corporate space and one of their clients reached out to me. They already had an event on the books, a very specific date, a very specific role that they wanted me to play.
It was short notice, which they acknowledged, and because of that, their offer reflected it. They offered me a significant retainer to participate in this event. And I'm so excited and I checked the calendar and on that exact same day, my oldest daughter had her district-wide French competition. Don't need to know the details of [00:05:00] this to understand that it was important to her.
And more importantly, I had already committed to her that I would be there. There was no way to do both. And so I declined the business opportunity. I said no, and I didn't tell them why. I rarely use the word because it's a yes or a no. I don't explain my decisions, especially when it won't affect the outcome.
And so I declined, and what happened next is like the part that still makes me laugh to this day. They thought I was negotiating. So they came back and said, okay, fine. And they added another five figures to the offer. And I said, no, I, I, I don't think you understand. It's just not possible. And then I explained, I have my daughter's event that day.
And then they started asking questions. Well, how old is she? She was in grade five at the time, and they said, okay, fine. Like it obviously didn't feel like a [00:06:00] big deal to them because they said, fine, you win. They doubled the original offer her and said final offer, and I just laughed because it wasn't about the money, it wasn't about that for me.
I was not negotiating. And so I said, no, it's still not possible. And in that moment, I felt the biggest exhale because I had just proven something to myself. I had proven that I would not trade one for the other, and I just wanna name something here because it really matters. That moment wasn't a punishment for me, wasn't a test.
It wasn't initiation, it was asking me. Are you solid in who you say you are when it actually costs you something? Initiations don't always look like rewards. Typically, they come and feel a little bit like pressure, and then once you [00:07:00] pass and move through them, the system reorganizes. And I know exactly what some of you are thinking right now.
Jessica, didn't you just prove the story true? Didn't you just literally tell us you chose your family and because of it you lost a significant amount of money and a great business opportunity? No, I didn't because what actually happened next was fascinating. The client and someone else in their circle.
I, I think they were honestly at the beginning kind of stunned, and I don't mean impressed in like an ego way. I mean, I really feel that they felt moved, like something shifted because what they saw wasn't strategy. They saw and felt embodiment. They saw and felt someone who knew her values and did not abandon them under pressure.
And so because I said no, I then was offered [00:08:00] and entered into not one, but two long term high paying contracts with those people. I ended up making significantly more than that original offer, and more importantly, the resources reorganized around me. I didn't chase. I didn't over explain. I didn't compensate.
I stayed neutral. And here's the deeper truth here. This expansion that I was feeling, and I don't love to use the word block because I don't believe in blocks, but wasn't halted because I might choose business over family. It was halted because I hadn't yet proven to myself that I wouldn't.
The universe was not punishing me. It was waiting for clarity because until you know who you are, when the stakes are high, the field cannot trust you with more. You don't get both by trying to have both. You get both by becoming [00:09:00] someone who won't abandon themselves for either the moment you prove to yourself, I won't trade love for money.
I won't trade money for love. Life stops offering you those ultimatums. I'll just add this because it feels really important to name it right here in real time. I'm recording this episode on a day where I have quite literally embodied both. This morning I was on a grade six field trip with my oldest, and now I'm back in the office recording this podcast.
And what's interesting to me. Is that for a long time I think that, I believe that one day the binary would disappear. So I want you to feel into this. I'm using this specific example, but obviously this is a mirror for you in your life. So in my binary business or family, maybe I once believed that as my kids got older, they would need me less, and that therefore the environment would make the decision for me.
By default, I wouldn't have to choose because [00:10:00] they would need me less. And probably the parents listening are just groaning and laughing because if you're a parent, you know that's not how it works. It's not that they need you less, they need you differently. And honestly, right now, I feel like I have a second full-time job as chauffer.
So if you are waiting for circumstances to resolve this tension for you. I want you to hear this. They won't. The circumstances will just change, which is why learning how to embody both now instead of postponing, it really matters. And I also wanna be clear about something else here. This is not about judgment.
This story is not a morality tale. I'm not telling you what values should matter. Every moment is a new invitation to recalibrate. And most of us have chosen one thing over another at different points in our life because that's what was true. Then here's where I [00:11:00] really want you to take this in.
Love and money is perhaps the most obvious binary, but it's not the only one. People live inside. We've got success or rest, power or being light boundaries or belonging. Visibility or privacy, stability or aliveness, leadership or softness. I mean, I could go on and on. Do you feel how many binaries there are?
And if there was a time in your life where you did choose one thing over the other, that does not mean you failed the test. Every situation is a new invitation. It's not a verdict, and I'm not perfect. There are plenty of moments in my past. Where I did choose to take the phone call right in the office at 4 45 and I was late for daycare pickup, or I walked into the door physically present, but not energetically available.
And so if you're listening to this thinking, but I've already chosen, I've already messed this up, that is not true. [00:12:00] Choice is not a one-time decision. Choice is a present tense verb. Every day brings opportunities to choose again. Every moment brings opportunities to recalibrate. This work is not about never missing the mark, it's about noticing when you have and choosing again without punishing yourself for it.
And thinking back to those times, here's the reason why we make those decisions. We make decisions because we are just trying to manage the complexity of our lives. And a lot of either or or this or that thinking comes from compartmentalization and that's not a failure. It's actually something our brains are very good at because yes, you guessed it.
Compartmentalization helps us manage complexity. It helps us get through hard seasons. It gives us a sense of control when things feel overwhelming, but what helps us survive is not always what helps us [00:13:00] expand. At some point, the compartments that once kept things manageable, start to keep things separate.
And that's when the parts of our life begin to compete instead of collaborate. And when that happens, instead of asking like, how can these two things support each other? We ask like, okay, which one is gonna win here? And that's when the binaries truly start to harden. This also means depending on where you are in your life and in your seasons, you will choose differently.
And again, that's the point. How many of you know what your values are or have done of values exercise? Sometimes we treat values like they're a worksheet. Like they're a one and done thing. Like you define them once and then that's who you are. And then you shove them in a drawer.
But values are living. They evolve as we do. And if your values change, that does not mean you're wishy-washy. That does [00:14:00] not mean you don't know who you are. That actually means you are so tapped into who you are, that you know that your values must evolve and change as you do, because what mattered to you in survival mode?
Might not be what matters to you in expansion, that is not inconsistency, that is growth. So, this isn't about never choosing. It's about noticing when and where you've unconsciously turned life into this either or challenge for yourself where you've turned life into this game of this or that.
And I want you to ask yourself. Is that still true for me? Now, here's what I know to be true. Every single person has this kind of duality in their bodies. Everyone. How do I know? Because it is in your chart. But here's the difference that I want you to hear. A numerologist for sure can tell you your numbers.
An [00:15:00] astrologer can tell you the placements. A human design facilitator, I guess, could show you the mechanics of that. But honestly, AI can do all of that too. That's not what matters. It doesn't actually matter what is in your chart. What matters is what is active right now in your chart. I think of charts more like a landscape.
Everything is mapped out on a flat plane, like geometry. And energetically, some parts are dormant and some parts are lit up, like an active volcano. It's always there. So this duality is always present and I say that everyone has a duality du jour, meaning you have distinct binaries.
That I can see from a mile away, but it's not always as active in your field, in different parts of your life. So if you're listening and this either or theme is right at the [00:16:00] surface right now, it's loud, it's asking for attention, and for some of you it might be dormant still there, but it's just not active yet.
So. You know what I do is not just re charts, like I said, anyone, and actually a robot can do that too. I listen for what is lighting up, like piano keys being pressed or like tiles clicking together in Mahjong or things lighting up. Right? and we can see what is active, what is alive for you right now in the moment and when you know what is active.
You stop forcing answers to questions that were never meant to be this or that in the first place. You were never meant to choose. I could share with you hundreds of stories of clients who came to me with a choice. Should I take this job or this? Should I move in with my boyfriend or prioritize my career?
Should I have a [00:17:00] fourth child or take the promotion? Right? So interesting that so many people come to me with these choices and what they want is a choice between that binary. And what always happens with me is I don't answer that question because I actually don't think. It's the most important one for you to ask yourself, how can we dissolve the binary so you don't have to choose?
And I'm gonna share with you some of these, things that you can do for yourself. So if you're listening and you can feel yourself in a binary right now, like one part of your life is pressed up against the other and it feels like something has to lose, I want you to start here. Please do not ask yourself which one to choose.
Okay, because we just talked about that question keeps you in separation. Instead, I want you to [00:18:00] ask, where do these actually want to meet? What's the overlap? What's the version of this that doesn't live in compartments but lives in relationship? Fact integration does not come from force, it comes from curiosity.
So you have to ask yourself these questions get serious. Another way of get curious. Not serious, I should say. Another way I think about this is like a game of tug of war when you're in either or. It's not because one thing matters and the other doesn't. It is because you deeply care about both, right?
I deeply care about my work and I deeply care about my family. Both sides are strong. Both sides are pulling. And when you keep pulling one against the other, if you think you have two teams, two equal teams playing tug of war, what happens? Nothing actually wins. You just get tired. And so this is what a lot of binaries feel like.
Exhaustion [00:19:00] disguised in decision making. The shift does not come from pulling harder on one side. It comes from dropping the rope. Choosing not to play that game and dropping the rope does not mean you stop caring. It just means you stop forcing the parts of your life to compete with each other, and the moment that you drop the rope, something really interesting happens You're free to look at what both sides actually want. This is where integration truly begins. This month especially carries this invitation specifically. There's a portal of time between February 16th and 24th. It may feel like during that time you are being asked again and again and again to choose one thing or the other.
But you are not. I want you to imagine a Venn diagram where you have these two sides, and it's [00:20:00] not about choosing one circle or the other. It's about standing in the center of that Venn diagram and letting a new configuration emerge and that sweet spot, the place where things connect and combine might not look like what you imagined.
It is probably gonna be more nuanced maybe a little smaller, maybe a little quieter, but it will feel more honest. And when you start orienting your decisions from that place, even in small ways, the pressure will ease the ultimatum dissolves. And you will remember life isn't asking you to choose sides.
It's asking you to bring the parts of you back into conversation. Integration is not about having more. Sometimes it's about letting what already exists, stop competing with each other. So much has [00:21:00] happened in these 10 months since. That situation that I described today, and I believe so much of it has happened because I started compartmentalizing less because I expanded my capacity to hold both.
And I really believe that I don't have to choose. I can have both. You can choose to not play the game of this or that because as we started out this conversation, those questions are impossible to answer, and I hope this conversation has helped stirred something inside of you to perhaps look at those binaries that exist in your life a little bit differently.
And to perhaps start to shift those in small but really meaningful ways. And [00:22:00] if I can help you do that at all, please reach out. I am here and a good way to practice this. I'll leave you with this very easy thing. I want you to really notice. We know February is about noticing patterns and how language is really important this month.
I want you to really recognize when you are using the word either and when you are using the word or, and as you do that, really work, replace those words both in language and energetically with, and instead of asking myself today, ugh. Okay, should I take the kids on the field trip or should I spend time in my business?
I looked at my day and took the word or out of it and decided that it was going to be, and, and [00:23:00] when I did that, the opportunities arose for me to be able to be so incredibly blessed and incredibly grateful to have both. And it's more than that. It's releasing any pressure that you feel you have to choose, and it totally erases the questions in your mind and any open tabs that you have because when you trust yourself.
To choose what is most important to you in that moment, I promise the universe will respond, maybe not in a way that you expect, but always in a way that will serve you well. Thanks again for listening. I'm so grateful that you choose. To spend your time with me here. I never take that for granted, and I really value our connection.
See you next [00:24:00] time.
Outro: Thanks for being here inside The Energetic Advantage. If today's episode open something for you, share it, tag it, or send to the person who popped into your mind. And remember, energy first strategy second. Your advantage has always been in you. Now it's time to lead with it. See you next time.
