Intro: [00:00:00] Welcome to Energetic Advantage, the podcast where energy isn't woo, it's your edge. I'm your host, Jessica Cerato. Intuitive strategist, lifelong pattern decoder, lover of numbers, and energetic guide for visionary leaders. Around. Here we go. Energy first, strategy second. Every episode will give you a perspective, a tool, or a timeline shift that helps you lead from your power.
Because the truth is your energy is your most undervalued asset. Until you learn how to use it, get ready. You're about to have the advantage. Let's begin.
Episode Intro: Okay. I know what I said. I said that the next episode was going to be about money, and when I said it, I fully meant it. But then right after I recorded that last podcast, if you haven't yet listened to it, the one about risk, go listen to it. Something else came through and honestly, it would not leave me alone. So [00:01:00] we are pivoting because before we talk about money. We need to talk about mirrors because money is one of the loudest mirrors that some people ever experience. It reflects your decisions, your risk tolerance, your identity, what you believe you're available for all of it. And if we skip this part, if we skip understanding what mirrors are and how they actually work.
I feel that some of you will hear the money conversation and still miss what it's trying to show you. So this episode is the bridge, and this episode is also an example of a real life, real time mirror. You don't have to share with you something so interesting. When I first started this podcast and I started planning for it, I really thought and.
Was a little bit wary of this idea that, ah, like, I don't think I'll have you know enough to [00:02:00] say, or how am I gonna come up with these ideas or concepts or, you know, how am I gonna get quote, unquote enough guests? And I didn't realize until I actually did it having the podcast be a mirror to me that all of that was just the gap between what.
I thought would happen and what is actually happening, and that's a mirror in itself, right? This in real time right now, my choice to follow my intuition and pivot even when I said I was gonna do something. Trust me when I tell you this is so hard for a ruling number 11 and a Virgo rising, this mirror is asking me to trust the pivot even when it doesn't match the original plan.
And it showed me perhaps, where I was underestimating myself. And so you see how this is like real life imitating art, art imitating real life, whatever it is we're going with it. This important discussion today around [00:03:00] mirrors and what they are showing you in your life, and it all started from a question.
Main Episode: Hey, hey, listen, full disclosure, this wasn't even a podcast episode until about 10 minutes ago, but considering it's April and the energy is moving so fast with so many questions and the importance of questions and having fun with these questions, I couldn't not. And so here we are. So here's what happened.
I was doing a live reading on Instagram. I had created a template for this full moon, and I was sharing messages that came in in the moment. And I pulled a card and what popped into my head, what I said was, what would I do if I lived a life with no mirrors? So let me pose this question to you.
What would happen? What would you do? Or even, I guess more specifically, what would change if you lived a life with no [00:04:00] mirrors? And I don't just mean literal physical mirrors, although we'll get into that in a second. So it's not just checking yourself before you leave the house. I mean, no mirrors. No reflection, no feedback, no.
How did that land, right? No scanning of the room to see if people approve, right? Because that's what people are, they are mirrors of us, so what if it was just you moving, expressing, deciding no mirrors, just pure expression without the reflection. And I had to laugh. I didn't say this on the live, but as soon as I got off the live, I was kind of laughing 'cause I was like, okay, wait.
If I'm being completely honest, there are days I basically already live like this. Not intentionally, just out of like pure chaos. I will leave my house. Walk the dog with the kids, do school drop off. I'll go to Pilates, I'll run errands, and then I'll come back and I'll hop on a Zoom call and I will actually clip [00:05:00] myself in the reflective surface of the computer.
And I'm like, oh oh wow. That's what we went with today. But here's the wild part. I was completely fine until I saw it. Nothing changed about me, only the reflection changed my relationship to it. So this is where it gets really interesting, and we're gonna dive deep into what mirrors are, again, both literally, but also energetically, metaphorically.
And maybe explore this idea here of what would it be like to live life with no mirrors I guess let's start here. What is a mirror really? So at the most basic level, it is a surface that reflects light back to you, or an energy that reflects light back to you. That's it. But the word mirror actually comes from the Latin word mirari, [00:06:00] M-I-R-A-R-I, which means to wonder at.
To Marvel. So originally a mirror wasn't just about checking your face to make sure you had no spinach in your teeth. It was about, wow, look at that. Isn't that fascinating? This marvel, this wonder? Definitely not, is that good enough? Like we added that part. Society added that part because now we've gone from reflection.
To interpretation of that reflection, to making that interpretation of the reflection mean. Something about our identity. And here's where I really, really wanna stretch this. As I've said, mirrors are not just the thing in your bathroom, the one in your car visor mirrors are. People's reactions, comments on your social media, how many likes something gets right.
Your partner's tone or your partner's [00:07:00] mood, your client's response, the silence after you share something, all of it. These are all mirrors, all reflecting something back to you and all answering the same question. Who am I according to what is reflected back? But here's, you know what no one talks about.
A mirror never shows you, you, right? It shows light bouncing back from a specific angle in a specific moment. Interpreted through your brain. So it's the same with people. When you are looking at a mirror, right? Or when you are receiving a reflection from someone, you are not seeing truth. You are seeing a version, a slice, a perspective, a reflection filtered through something.
yet here is the freaking [00:08:00] kicker. How many decisions are we making based on mirrors? How many times do you say something and then immediately scan for reaction? how many times have you posted something and then check in to see how it's doing? When have you shared an idea? Then kind of adjust it midstream based on feedback, and I have to share something here.
You will see me many times close my eyes when I am delivering messages to clients or sometimes just really deep in thought. And I'm gonna tell you by deepest, darkest secret here, you know, some people assume that I'm just so connected. Like I can see things better with my eyes closed, whatever.
Actually many times why? I close my eyes is I feel a very strong message coming through and I do not want to alter it, and I know myself, and I am human. So if my eyes are open and I am [00:09:00] looking at you sharing a message, I am seeing your reaction in real time and in the past that has perhaps altered the message in midstream.
And so now I freaking close my eyes so I don't have to deal with the mirror. So I guess that's interesting. I didn't think about it until right in this moment. That is where I do intentionally in my work, live my life with no mirrors. And I don't do my work all the time that way. But when I know I don't want the reaction or the reflection to change what I'm about to do, I close my eyes.
Interesting. So think about that when you're sharing an idea and perhaps adjusting it midstream based on the feedback. It, feels like we're asking like, who am I according to what's coming back to me? yeah. So let's play with this, right? What if, just for a second, just play with me here. There were no mirrors.
There is no way to check how you look, how [00:10:00] you're being received, how something landed, what would change. I'll tell you what I think will happen. You'd probably move faster. Say the thing without editing halfway through. You'd wear the outfit because you like it, not because you've confirmed it, I guess, works or, or looks good.
You try things without needing immediate validation and. You would stop doing that thing, you know, when you take a step and then you pause and then adjust and then second guess, and then recalibrate and take the step, like you just go. And if I'm honest, I think a lot of us would feel lighter because we wouldn't be constantly trying to manage perception.
And also I want you to hear that phrase because this is a phrase I'm really playing with. I tend to be in my numerology, black or white, either or. And so many times I say something and then I'm like, but I'm really trying to take but out of my vocabulary. and also the other side of the coin here [00:11:00] is let's get really real, a world with zero mirrors.
We would have some issues like practical ones, right? And I don't mean walking around with, you know, spinach again in your tooth or you know, hair all over the place. Although, you know, that's not out of the realm of possibility. I do that with mirrors, right? But let's get serious for a second.
Serious, Jess serious mirrors do help us see impact. They help us understand how we affect people. Mirrors do create connection. I see you seeing me. Mirrors refine how we communicate. They help us catch things that we didn't see the first time or that were not in our awareness. So now that I've sat with this for more than 10 minutes and kind of talked through this with you, you know, it's not about mirrors are bad.
That's not my message here. This message is more about what role are they playing? Because here's, I think where things get [00:12:00] messy, like most people aren't using mirrors as simply information. They're using it more as like instruction. They're creating meaning of it. So if this gets a good reaction, I'll keep going.
If this doesn't land, I'm gonna stop. If they approve, I'm on the right track. And if they don't, I need to change. Right. And now suddenly, like we're not leading, we are reacting. And you know, this is so cute because it reminds me of babies like, have you ever seen a baby? See themselves in the mirror for their first time.
It's so freaking cute. I probably have so many pictures of my kids, like literally licking themselves the mirror. They're like so in love with a reflection because they're not like, huh? Is this like my best angle? they're literally like. What the heck is that? They're laughing. They try to touch it.
They're trying to interact with it. It's like total [00:13:00] curiosity, play wonder. And then when you step into the mirror with them, it's like freaking mind blown, right? But they're not forming anything about their identity with it. So somewhere along the way we kind of went from That's interesting. Let me wonder about this.
Let me marvel this two. This means something about me. Remember how we said reflection moves to interpretation, which then moves to identity? right when I got off the reading today, I just thought about my life in real time. And this is like such a huge, uh. theme in my life right now because I'm a naturally a bit not ridiculous, kind of like I just sing, I dance you know, a full round.
I say things like slay queen, like with like just full commitment, right? And this is not new behavior. This has been consistent. But let's talk about the [00:14:00] mirrors in my life. My kids. So when my kids were younger, I was freaking hit, like standing ovation energy. They would laugh, they would join in, they would copy me.
I was basically kind of a celebrity in my own house. I was getting so much back from them when I was like kind of being a goofball or you know, being funny. And then, Now that they're getting older, I have a tween and like a wannabe tween. Essentially something shifted. Same me, same behavior, but a different mirror.
Now when I say slay queen, uh, eye rolls, right? I get eye rolls, I get mom stop. And my personal favorite, which has been happening more often is like literally walking slash running away from me public, like pretending they don't know me, what the heck? But here's like what I wanna point out and what's so interesting [00:15:00] about this, nothing about me changed.
Only the reflection changed. And if I was not aware of this dynamic, if it wasn't so obvious as you know, tweens and, and a mom, it would be very easy to make that mean something about me. Ah, like maybe this isn't landing anymore. Like maybe I'm being annoying. Maybe I should tone it down a little bit.
Like maybe this version isn't it anymore? But that's the trap, right? Because if I let the mirror define me, then I would constantly be shapeshifting based on, age, audience, mood, environment, and I would lose the one thing that actually is consistent me. What actually changed their lens, their age, their stage of life, their awareness of social perception, their relationship to being seen.
They [00:16:00] moved into a phase where, you know, cool matters more than fun or. whatever phase they're in. And here's the thing, their phase will continually change, right? And that is not a reflection of my truth. That is a reflection of their current filter. So this is the lesson sometimes. the disorienting thing isn't that we changed, it's that our mirrors did.
And if you are not anchored, you are going to start editing yourself to match the new reflection. Again, you're gonna think ah, I guess that version of me doesn't work anymore, or I need to evolve past that, when really you just might be in a different room. Right? And so the truth that I've kind of landed on for now is.
I'm not here to be reflected back the same way by everyone at every stage, forever. I am here to be me. And some mirrors will laugh, you know, amplify, join, [00:17:00] right? And some will roll their eyes, they'll walk away, not get it at all. And both can exist. Without me changing and you know, I'm sharing a personal example, but this is 100% relevant in business as well with my clients.
If I think back to when I started this business it's so interesting how I do receive feedback. I do receive reflection. Of, you know, well, you've changed and I don't agree with that. I'm still me. My offers are different. Perhaps how I share or what I share is different, but at the core of it, it's me.
But my clients have changed and that reflection has changed. Right. And if they are used to reflecting, depending on who they are in what stage of their life or their business, it's going to be different. But I cannot [00:18:00] let that. Mean anything about me? Now listen, do I read the room sometimes? Of course.
Like personally, if you go back to that person example, maybe I don't yell, slay queen, like at full volume in the middle of the playground, although stay tuned maybe. that's simply awareness. That's not identity change. The same in business. do I offer different things at different times, you know, based on the energy, of course, but that is simply being smart in business.
That's not shifting who I am. So of course these podcasts are always about you. They're always for you. And so I want you to think about. A shifting mirror for you. Maybe maybe it's a physical mirror. Your, your body is changing physically. Maybe it is a change of reflection in a relationship. Maybe it is a change of reflection in your business.
Before you go into what does this [00:19:00] mean about me, I want you to ask what changed in the mirror? Because not every reaction is feedback. Some of it is just timing. It's context, it's perspective, right? And if you can hold that, you get to stay rooted. You get to keep your essence, you get to stop performing for consistency in reflection, and start trusting consistency in self.
wanna say that again. Here's the payoff. You get to stop performing for consistency in reflection and start trusting consistency in yourself and for me. This plays a very vital role in my life. As many of you know, time is my greatest resource. It is the resource that I value most. And honestly, if I had to think at all about what I was [00:20:00] going to say, how I was going to look if I really had to question that before I showed up, I would waste so much freaking time.
Whereas I just show up and say the thing, not because I don't have to think about what would Jessica say? 'cause it's me. I know what I'm gonna say in the moment, so I don't need to prepare for it. Right. And you know, going back to those mirrors, because I think sometimes this is hard, especially in relationship, like I'll honor that right now.
know, my kids are gonna circle back. They're gonna think I'm funny again. And you know, if not. I'll still be here dancing in the kitchen, you know, singing at the top of my lungs in the car, totally unbothered because I am not here to be approved by the mirror. I am here to express, regardless of what it reflects back.
So after all of this, I'm laughing, I think I've changed the question. So maybe the question isn't, how do I live life [00:21:00] with no mirrors? Maybe the question is like, how can I play with mirrors? Or how can I stop taking mirrors so seriously? Or how can I stop putting meaning on mirrors? Hmm. Yeah, what if a mirror was just, ah, like that's interesting versus that defines me.
And, you know, maybe the real invitation underneath it all here, especially with this playful energy that we're in right now, is this where can you loosen your grip on reflection? Where can you loosen your grip on reflection? but in order to do that, you first gotta ask yourself some really honest questions.
So here we go. Where am I waiting for reflection before I move or before I decide? What decisions would I make if no one could respond? Where am I overcorrecting based on feedback or reflection and what do I actually want or what do I actually [00:22:00] like? Without input. And then once you kind of answered those questions, it might take you a little bit, how can you turn that into action?
Where can you start living that? So where can post? On social media without checking where or when can you start speaking without scanning? Speak with your eyes closed. Tell them Jessica told you to do that. Oh my gosh. Can you imagine? Where could you wear the thing without confirming, oh, hey, does this look good?
Right? Where could you try something without knowing how it's gonna land like at all? Because here's the thing. We are not meant to eliminate mirrors. We are meant to stop outsourcing our identity to them. So I guess what I want to leave you here with is this. If you didn't have any mirrors, not your phone, not people's reactions, not feedback, just you, what would you do?
What would [00:23:00] you say? What would you choose?
And then freaking do it. Don't wait for the reflection to confirm it. You're not meant to live life without mirrors, but you are meant to stop mistaking mirrors for Truth.
podcast that wasn't meant to be a podcast. Turned into 23 minutes. But I think it was a really important conversation to have. So I'd really, really love your thoughts on this. How do you feel about this concept? What did you learn about yourself in this conversation? And not only, oh, this is interesting.
I didn't think about this, but I think this is my takeaway from this whole conversation is, you know, as I said, I'm pretty aware of, living life without mirrors or just not making meaning out of mirrors. and what is my role as am mirror? Oh, this is my, this is interesting.
This is my takeaway and my biggest thing here. If I know that I am a mirror for others without taking on responsibility, that isn't mine to take on, but [00:24:00] how can I be a more conscious mirror or how can I be like a better mirror I think I practice this many times as a mom, I'm very, very aware of my reactions or I try not to have a reaction, especially when, my kids are telling me things because I don't want my reaction to mean something for them.
I'm not here to tell them what their truth is, like they're telling me something. And so, you know, many times, you know, I'm a very expressive person. I do have to hone in on that poker face and just be really aware of my role there. Hmm. starting off the podcast with a question and ending the podcast with another question.
Welcome to my life. No wonder I don't have time to look in the freaking mirror and brush my hair or get the coffee stain off my shirt. Just kidding. I'm not that much of a hot mess. Although, you know what? I think I am and that's [00:25:00] okay because I spend my time doing what I love, which is, having conversations like this with people like you.
The Energetic Audit: So after talking about mirrors and really understanding how, sometimes they're uncomfortable, sometimes they're confronting, you know, sometimes they're exactly what you need.
And also understanding and accepting that just sometimes you can't see yourself clearly not because you're doing anything wrong, but because you are inside of the situation. This is where having a mirror on purpose and intentionally choosing a mirror can be really powerful because a clean mirror right doesn't judge you.
It doesn't distort you. It simply reflects back to you what is actually there so you can work with it. And you know, that's a lot of what I do with my clients. I step in as that mirror, not to tell you what to do, but to show you what is already happening in your energy, in your patterns, in your timing, so that you can make decisions from that clarity.
So if you've listened to this [00:26:00] episode and you're like, okay, I feel this, but I can't quite see it for myself. That's exactly what my energetic audit is for. You bring a question, something you're navigating, something you know that you want clarity on, and I reflect back to you what's actually going on through your chart, what's ready to move and what your next step is.
Clean, usable insight, this is a beautiful offer, especially for someone who is just stepping into this work who wants an experience. With what this can look like. If this is something that is interesting to you, you can check out the link in the show notes.
Main Episode: And thank you so much for being here. I'm so grateful that you choose to spend your valuable time listening, and I can't wait to connect with you on the next one. Bye.
Outro: Thanks for being here inside The Energetic Advantage. If today's episode open something for you, share it, tag it, or send to the person who popped into your mind. And remember, energy [00:27:00] first strategy second. Your advantage has always been in you. Now it's time to lead with it. See you next time.
